Friends Episode 1 Season 1:The one where Monica gets a new roommate.
老友记第1季第1集：莫妮卡的新室友。
Part3
Joey: That wasn’t a real date. What the hell do you do on a real date?
那还不是真正的约会。那你真正约会时会干什么？
Monica: Shut up and put my table back.
闭嘴，把我的桌子移回去。
Chandler: All right, kids, I gotta get to work. If I don’t input those numbers,…it doesn’t make much of a difference…
好了，孩子们，我要去上班了。如果我不去输入那些数字……那其实也没有什么差别……
Rachel: So, like, you guys all have jobs?
好像你们都有工作哦？
Monica: Yeah, we all have jobs. See that’s how we buy stuff.
对，我们都有。这样我们才有钱买东西。
Joey: Yeah, I’m an actor.
对，我是演员。
Rachel: Wow! Would I have seen you in anything?
哇！我有见过你的作品吗？
Joey: I doubt it. Mostly regional work.
可能没有，大部分都是区域性作品。
Monica: Oh wait, wait, unless you happened to catch the reruns’ production of Pinocchio at the little theater in the park?
注释:rerun：重播。
哦，等等，除非你碰巧在公园里的小剧场了看了皮诺曹的重播。
Joey: Look, it was a job all right?
听着，那也是份工作好吧？
Chandler: “Look, Geppetto. I’m a real live boy. ”
瞧，Geppetto，我是个真正的小男孩。
Joey: I will not take this abuse.
我不会把这样的羞辱放在心上。
Chandler: You’re right, I’m sorry. “Once I was a wooden boy, a little wooden boy…”
你是对的，对不起，”从前我是木头男孩，木头小男孩”
Joey: You should both know, that he’s a dead man.
你们该知道，他死定了。
Joey: Oh, Chandler!
噢，钱德！
Monica: So how are you doing today? Did you sleep okay?
你今天怎么样？睡得好吗？
Monica: Did you talk to Barry? I can’t stop smiling.
你和巴里谈过吗？我笑得停不下来。
Rachel: I can see that. You look like you slept with a hanger in your mouth.
注释:a hanger in your mouth：嘴里塞有晾衣架。
看得出来，你看起来就好像睡觉时有个衣架塞在你嘴里。
Monica: I know. He’s just so…Do you remember you and Tony Demarco?
我知道，他只是太……你还记得你和Tony DeMarco吗？
Rachel: Oh, yeah.
是的，记得。
Monica: Well, it’s like that. With feelings.
就好像那样。带有感觉。
Rachel: Wow, are you in trouble!
哇，你有麻烦了。
Monica: Big time!
太棒了！
Rachel: Want a wedding dress? Hardly used.
想要婚纱吗？几乎没用过。
Monica: I think we are getting a little ahead of ourselves here.
我想我们谈的远了点。
Monica: Okay. Okay. I am just going to get up, go to work and not think about him all day.
好啦，好啦，我要站起来，去工作了，而且不整天想着他。
Monica: Or else I’m just gonna get up and go to work.
或者我只是站起来然后去工作。
Rachel: Oh, look, wish me luck!
那么，祝我好运！
Monica: What for?
为什么？
Rachel: I’m gonna go get one of those … job things.
我要去找那个。。。工作的事情。
Frannie: Hi, Monica.
嗨，莫妮卡！
Monica: Hey Frannie, welcome back. How was Florida?
嘿，Frannie，欢迎回来。在佛罗里达过得怎么样？
Frannie: You had sex, didn’t you?
你做♥爱了，是不是？
Monica: How did you do that?
你怎么知道的？
Frannie: Oh, I hate you. I’m pushing my Aunt Roz through Parrot Jungle and you’re having sex! So, who?
哦，我恨你。我拉着我的Roz阿姨穿过鹦鹉丛林，你却在做♥爱！那么，是和谁？
Monica: You know Paul?
你认识保罗吗？
Frannie: Paul, the wine guy? Oh yeah, I know Paul.
保罗，酒男？是呀，我认识保罗。
Monica: You mean, you know Paul like I know Paul?
你是说，你认识他就好像我认识他一样？
Frannie: Are you kidding? I take credit for Paul.
开玩笑吧？保罗还欠我人情呢。
Frannie: Y’know before me, there was no snap in his turtle for two years.
注释:no snap in his turtle：北美洲有种snapping turtle，是咬人的且很厉害，被咬了就很疼，那么当这个turtle不再有能力去snap的时候，就没有什么好怕的了，也就是说没有多大能耐没多大用，以这个来比喻Paul有两年没有性生活了。
在我之前，他已经有两年没有做♥爱了。
Joey: Of course it was a lie.
当然那是个惯用伎俩！
Monica: Why? Why? Why, why would anybody do something like that?
为什么？为什么？为什么啊？为什么会有人这样做？
Ross: I assume we’re looking for an answer more sophisticated than :”To get you into bed. ”
我猜我们在寻找一个比“把你弄上床”更深奥的答案。
Monica: I hate men! I hate men!
我恨男人，我恨男人！
Phoebe: Oh no, don’t hate, you don’t want to put that out into the universe.
不，不要讨厌，你不会想要把他们扔出宇宙的。
Monica: Is it me? Is it like I have some sort of beacon that only dogs and men with severe emotional problems can hear?
是因为我吗？是不是我有某种信号，只有狗或者有严重感情问题的人才能听得到？
Phoebe: All right, come here, give me your feet.
好啦，过来这里，把你的脚给我。
Monica: I just thought he was nice, you know?
我原以为他是个好人，知道吗？
Joey: I can’t believe you didn’t know it was a lie.
我真不敢相信你竟然不知道那是个谎言。
Rachel: Guess what?
猜猜看？
Ross: You got a job?
你得到工作啦？
Rachel: Are you kidding? I’m trained for nothing.
开玩笑吗？我一点经验都没有！
Rachel: I was laughed out of twelve interviews today.
今天我在十二个招聘中被嘲笑了。
Chandler: And yet you’re surprisingly upbeat.
注释:upbeat：乐观的。
然而你却出乎意料的高兴。
Rachel: You would be too if you found John and David boots on sale, fifty percent off!
如果你发现John和David的皮靴打五折你也会高兴的。
Chandler: Oh, how well you know me…
是呀，你多了解我啊……
Rachel: They’re my new “I don’t need a job, I don’t need my parents, I’ve got great boots” boots.
这就是我的”我不需要工作，我不需要父母，我有我的新皮靴”的靴子！
Monica: How did you pay for them?
你用什么付帐的？
Rachel: Uh, credit card.
额，信用卡。
Monica: And who pays for that?
那谁付帐单呢？
Rachel: Um…my…father.
额……我……爸爸。
Rachel: Oh God, come on you guys, is this really necessary? I mean, I can stop charging anytime I want.
噢天哪，拜托大家，这样真的有必要吗？我的意思是，我随时可以忍住不乱花钱的。
Monica: C’mon, Rache, you can’t live off your parents your whole life.
拜托，瑞秋，你总不能一辈子靠父母。
Rachel: I know that. That’s why I was getting married.
我知道，这就是为什么我要结婚。
Phoebe: C’mon, give her a break. It’s hard being on your own for the first time.
拜托，让她喘口气。第一次独立生活是很困难的。
Rachel: Thank you.
谢谢你。
Phoebe: You’re welcome. I remember when I first came to this city. I was fourteen.
不客气，记得我第一次来这个城市时才十四岁。
Phoebe: My mom had just killed herself and my step-dad was back in prison, and I got here, and I didn’t know anybody.
我妈妈刚自♥杀，我的继父又进了监狱，然后来到这里，我谁都不认识。
Phoebe: And I ended up living with this albino guy who was, like, cleaning windshields outside port authority. And then he killed himself.
注释:albino:白化病的。
注释:port authority：港务局。
然后结果是我和一个在港务局外给人擦车窗的白化病人住在一起。最后他也自♥杀了。
Phoebe: And then I found aromatherapy. So believe me, I know exactly how you feel.
然后我找到香薰按♥摩这份工作。所以相信我，我完全了解你的感受。
Ross: The word you’re looking for is: “Anyway”…
你想说的话是：”无论如何”……
Monica: All right, you ready?
好了，准备好了吗？
Rachel: No. No, no, I’m not ready! How can I be ready!
不不不，我没准备好，我怎么会准备好！
Rachel: “Hey, Rach! You ready to jump out the airplane without your parachute? ”
注释:parachute：降落伞。
“嘿，瑞秋！你准备好不带降落伞就跳出飞机了？”
Rachel: Come on, I can’t do this!
不要这样，我做不到！
Monica: You can, I know you can!
你行，我知道你行！
Rachel: I don’t think so.
我不这么认为。
Ross: Come on, you made coffee! You can do anything!
来吧，你都会自己泡咖啡！你什么都可以！
All: C’mon, cut. Cut, cut, cut,…
来吧，剪，剪，剪，剪，剪……
Rachel: Y’know what? I think we can just leave it at that. Kind of like a symbolic gesture.
知道吗？我想我们这样就可以了。就好像是某个象征性行动。
Monica: Rachel, that was a library card.
瑞秋！那是图书卡！
All: Cut, cut, cut, cut, cut, cut, cut……
剪、剪、剪、剪、剪、剪……
Chandler: Y’know, if you listen very closely, you can hear a thousand retailers scream.
知道吗，如果你仔细听，你们也许可以听到上千个商家的尖叫。
Monica: Welcome to the real world! It sucks. You’re gonna love it.
欢迎来到真实世界！它很糟糕，但是你会喜欢的！
Monica: Well, that’s it. You gonna crash on the couch?
好啦，就这样了，你要在沙发上睡？
Ross: No. No, I gotta go home sometime.
不，我还是得要回家。
Monica: Are you gonna be okay?
你还好吗？
Ross: Yeah.
是的。
Rachel: Hey Mon, look what I just found on the floor.
嘿，莫妮卡，看我在地上找到了什么？
Rachel: What?
怎么了？
Monica: That’s Paul’s watch. You just put it back where you found it.
那是保罗的手表。你把它放回原处吧。
Monica: Oh, boy! All right. Good night, everybody.
哦，好吧。晚安，各位。
Rachel and Ross: Good night.
晚安。
Ross: Oh, no, oh no no, go go go.
哦不，哦不不，你拿去吧。
Rachel: oh, sorry. No, have it, really, I don’t want it.
哦，对不起，你拿吧，我不想要。
Ross: Split it?
分着吃？
Rachel: Okay.
好吧。
Ross: You know you probably didn’t know this, but back in high school, I had a, um, major crush on you.
你可能不知道，在高中的时候，我曾暗恋过你。
Rachel: I knew.
我知道。
Ross: You did! Oh…I always figured you just thought I was Monica’s geeky older brother.
你知道！噢……我一直想着你只是觉得我是Monica的书呆子哥哥。
Rachel: I did.
我是这么认为的。
Ross: Oh…
噢……
Ross: Listen, do you think…? And try not to let my intense vulnerability become any kind of a factor here,
注释:vulnerability：脆弱。
听着，你觉得……？不要受我的脆弱的影响，
Ross: but do you think it would be okay if I asked you out? Sometime? Maybe?
但是你觉得如果我约你出去可以吗？有时候？可能？
Rachel: Yeah. Maybe.
当然，可能。
Ross: Okay…Okay, maybe I will.
好吧…… 好吧，可能我会的。
Rachel: Good night.
晚安。
Ross: Good night.
晚安。
Monica: See ya. Wait, wait. Hey, what’s with you?
再见。等等，你怎么了？
Ross: I just grabbed a spoon.
我只是刚刚拿起一个勺子。
Joey: I can’t believe what I’m hearing here.
我真不敢相信我的耳朵。
Phoebe: I can’t believe what I’m hearing here…
我真不敢相信我的耳朵……
Monica: What? I said you had a…
怎么啦，我说你有个……
Phoebe: What I said you had…
我说你有个……
Monica: Would you stop?
你能不能停下来？
Phoebe: Oh, was I doing it again?
噢，我又来了？
All: Yes!
没错！
Monica: I said you had a nice butt. It’s just not a great butt.
我只是说你有个不错的臀部，但不是个很棒的臀部。
Joey: Oh, you wouldn’t know a great butt if it came up and bit ya.
噢，如果它不凑过来打你一下，你是不知道它是不是很棒的臀部的。
Ross: There’s an image.
想象一下。
Rachel: Would anybody like more coffee?
有人还要咖啡吗？
Chandler: Did you make it, or are you just serving it?
是你煮的，还是你只是端过来？
Rachel: I’m just serving it.
我只是端过来。
All: Yeah, I’ll have a cup of coffee.
好吧，我要杯咖啡。
Chandler: Kids, new dream. I’m in Las Vegas.
孩子们，新的梦…… 我在拉斯维加斯。
Customer: Aha, Miss? More coffee?
小姐？能再来点咖啡吗？
Rachel: Excuse me, could you give this to that guy over there?
哦，打扰一下，你能把这个拿给那边那个人吗？
Rachel: Go ahead. Thank you.
去呀。谢谢。
Rachel: Sorry. Okay, Las Vegas.
对不起。好啦，拉斯维加斯。
Chandler: OK. So…I’m in Las Vegas. I’m Liza Minnelli.
我在拉斯维加斯……我是Liza Minelli。
老友记.本章节注释
rerun：重播。
a hanger in your mouth：嘴里塞有晾衣架。
no snap in his turtle：北美洲有种snapping turtle，是咬人的且很厉害，被咬了就很疼，那么当这个turtle不再有能力去snap的时候，就没有什么好怕的了，也就是说没有多大能耐没多大用，以这个来比喻Paul有两年没有性生活了。
upbeat：乐观的。
albino:白化病的。
port authority：港务局。
parachute：降落伞。
vulnerability：脆弱。
